You're Out
by Kitsune Tanaka
Summary: Yuki runs out of cigarettes, and decides to walk to the convenience story. Wacky animal hijinks ensue. T for language.
1. You're Out

Title: You're Out

Fandom: Gravitation

Pairing: Yuki/Shuichi, Roy/Ed (alt. ending only)

Disclaimer: Gravitation, Full Metal Alchemist, and ipod aren't mine. Dammit.

Note: This little gem of a bunny gnawed on my ankle all the way home from the store from getting my own pack of smokes.

* * *

"Nee, Yuki, you're getting a beer belly," the writer heard from between his legs.

"First, how did you fit under there, I barely have room for my legs? Second, I am not. It just looks like that because I'm sitting down. Now, get out from under my desk."

"Yuuki! Stand up!"

Just to make Shuichi shut up, Yuki complied.

"See Yuki, I was right," Shuichi said as he pulled up Yuki's shirt.

"Fine, fine, I'll cut down on the beer. Can you hand me a pack of cigarettes," the blonde man said as he pushed his shirt back down.

The pink-haired boy looked in the carton box, and his eyes got very wide as he slowly turned to face Yuki.

Then those two words that every smoker hates to hear came out of Shuichi's mouth.

"You're out."

Yuki nearly screamed in horror, but decided to be a man and deal with it.

"It's alright. I need a break anyway. And, if you'll quit bugging me about this supposed 'beer belly', I'll walk up to the store. It'll probably clear my head anyway."

"Yay! Yuki, can you pick me up some candy?"

"One bag. And you can't have it all tonight."

"Thank you, Yuki!"

"One more thing, Shu. Where's my ipod?"

"Lemme grab it!"

Shuichi ran full speed into the couple's bedroom, dug through his backpack and found the mp3 player and a pair of headphones. When he ran back to the door, Yuki was already at the door with his shoes on.

"Here you go!" Shuichi handed Yuki the ipod, and deposited a quick kiss on his lover's lips.

Yuki headed out the door for a pleasant walk through his neighborhood, then to the convenience store. He put the headphones on, and the first thing that blasted out was "Sleepless Beauty" by Nittle Grasper. "Damn Shuichi," Yuki muttered under his breath. The walk all the way to the store was pleasant, if not boring, other than almost having his eardrums blasted out.

On the way back to the house, cigarette in hand, Yuki came to a crossroads. Right would take him straight back to the house, and straight would take him around the lake and then back to the house. Deciding that he was enjoying the mindlessness of the walk, Yuki decided to go straight.

He got about four steps down the sidewalk when a song that he didn't recognize came over the headphones. He pulled out his player and saw "Tsuki no Uragawa" on the screen. _Hmm, this…_ Yuki looked at the screen again. _This Roy Mustang guy has kind of a nice voice. I'll look him up when I get home,_ Yuki thought as he walked by a wooded area when a bunch of foxes came out and blocked his path.

"Oh, hell no," Yuki said as he flicked his cigarette butt at one of the animals. The largest one in the front growled at the blonde man, and Yuki decided that walking away was a good idea. The foxes, in turn, decided that following him was a good idea.

Yuki walked faster.

The foxes followed faster.

Yuki then decided that running was a better option.

After running for about a block, Yuki was winded. _Shit, fuck, this isn't good. I guess Shu was right. Sex isn't enough exercise._

The foxes eventually got bored after another block, and left.

Yuki stopped to breathe for a moment. "I'm never… pant… going… pant… for a walk… pant… again," the blonde man mumbled to himself.

He started back off, no longer enjoying his walk, and just wanted to get home, when he passed by the lake that the neighborhood surrounds. A flock of geese were on the grass in front of the lake. Not many people knew it, but Yuki was fond of birds. He cautiously approached the animals, and a large bird at the front of the pack hissed. Yuki threw caution to the wind, squatted down about two feet away from the geese, and held his hand out. A baby came up to him, saw his hand was empty, and pecked it.

The blonde man immediately drew his hand up to his chest, yelled obscenities, and swatted at the bird with his other hand.

Yuki again decided that walking away was the best course of action, so he did just that.

One of the larger geese flew over and dive-bombed Yuki, while the rest chased him.

"SHIT!" Yuki yelled as he ran away for the second time in ten minutes.

The geese, like the foxes, eventually got bored and gave up.

Yuki finally made it back to the house, with no further incident. When he got inside, he slammed and locked the door.

"Yuki! You're back," a certain pink-haired chibi yelled as he ran into the entryway. "Yuki, what happened? Where's my candy? Are you alright?"

"Fucking foxes. I'm never going on another fucking walk again, I want you to know that," Yuki patted his pockets. "Sorry Shu, your candy must've fallen out while I was either running away from the foxes or the geese."

"Aww, Yuki. That's okay. I'm just glad that you're alright."

The blonde man silently pulled off his shoes and nodded, then ambled over to the fridge to grab a beer.

Two weeks later…

"Hey, Shu," Yuki called from the study.

"Yeah?"

"Can you grab me a beer?"

"Sure!" Shuichi skipped into the kitchen to grab his lover's favorite alcoholic beverage, opened the fridge and stared in horror.

"Yuki…?"

"What?"

"You're out."

* * *

Note: No, I haven't been chased by foxes or geese on my nightly walks, but, I do have a lake in my neighborhood. Plus, I decided that it would be fun to pick on Yuki, since everyone always picks on Shuichi.


	2. Alternate Ending

Alt ending:

Yuki made it home unscathed, with no evil fox or goose attacks.

He looked up Roy Mustang on Google® and found out that he was a famous Colonel and singer. Yuki clicked on the "Images" tab and saw a picture of the Colonel.

_Hmm... I wonder if he would be up for a threesome?_

Yuki clicked on the next picture and saw a photo of Roy with his boyfriend, Edward Elric.

"Hey, Shu, what do you think about a foursome?"


End file.
